"This Means War"

[00:00:00] Speaker A: It's spy against spy. We are the Spy Fi Guys. And this is. This means war. Welcome to the Spy Fi Guys. So I apologize to the universe for that. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Yes. [00:00:15] Speaker A: Wow. Justice for Dennis M. Is it though? I laughed and then I hated myself for laughing. [00:00:25] Speaker B: Foreign. [00:00:31] Speaker A: Welcome back to the Spy Fi Guys, where we cover spy fact, spy fiction, and everything in between. I'm Zach. [00:00:37] Speaker B: And I'm Christian. [00:00:38] Speaker A: And you know, Christian, I never ask how you're doing. How are you doing today? [00:00:43] Speaker B: I'm doing good. So, listeners, we always record a little bit in advance, and we are having a great cold, snowy day today. Probably the biggest snow we've had in probably five years. Maybe I don't know when it was the last big snowstorm. [00:00:57] Speaker A: Not that I can recall. It's not too bad right now. I just went out and did some shoveling. But, Christian, I wanted to share how I was doing. I'm feeling romantic today. [00:01:06] Speaker B: Oh, Zach, you're married and I am, too, so let's not have that happen. [00:01:11] Speaker A: No, I'm in a romantic mood. My wife helped me with the shoveling, and then she cooked me breakfast and I got some tea to talk about this very romantic movie called this Means War. [00:01:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like one of. I feel like they all came out around the same time. When did this come out? 2012. Like this. And then there was Night and Day, and then there was Killers. There's like a bunch of, like, spy romantic comedy fusion movies that came out around that time. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Plus a little bit of horror. Just like a Night and Day I was talking about. [00:01:42] Speaker B: You know, let's talk. Let's talk about that when we get there. Yeah. So had you seen this movie before? [00:01:49] Speaker A: I had not, but I remembered when the trailers came out. How about you? Have you seen it before? [00:01:55] Speaker B: I did. I saw this in theaters, actually. And for me, okay, sure, it's a spy movie, but also I enjoyed the weird alternate universe trekness of it because you have the J.J. abrams, you know, the Kelvin verse, Captain Kirk versus Tom Hardy, who at this time was probably most famous for playing a clone of Jean Luc Picard. So it's really Kirk versus Picard in this. [00:02:20] Speaker A: Yeah, that's a good point. That is kind of weird to think about. Of course, Tom Hardy, he's just in a bunch of things now. [00:02:27] Speaker B: Yeah, now. Now. [00:02:28] Speaker A: He's usually with stuff over his face. [00:02:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm talking like this. [00:02:32] Speaker A: I still see him mostly as Mad Max, personally. [00:02:35] Speaker B: All right, well, I never saw that. That's just the. The movie was never. I think not. My cup of tea. So I never seen it. But for me, I don't know what's he most famous as for me might be Bane. Actually. [00:02:48] Speaker A: They even have Tom Hardy be Bane. Why not just get like a stunt guy to do it? I never always thought that was. [00:02:53] Speaker B: You need an. [00:02:54] Speaker A: You need. You can't see him. You can't see his face. [00:02:57] Speaker B: Yes. But his physicality. [00:02:59] Speaker A: Come on. [00:03:00] Speaker B: And also, who else is going to do that goofy voice? [00:03:02] Speaker A: Well, we can just dub it over. [00:03:04] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:03:04] Speaker A: By the way, one last thing about Tom Hardy, if you're curious. He is in Band of Brothers. By. By the way. [00:03:09] Speaker B: Of course he is. Everyone's in man of Brothers, but he's. [00:03:12] Speaker A: Super young in it. [00:03:13] Speaker B: So that's that come out. Band of brothers, 2001. Okay. Cuz he was in Layer Cake with Daniel Craig. O. What year was that? Must have been 2004, I think. Yeah, so that was later. But he is baby faced in that. I mean, he's still kind of baby faced here. But also just the fact one of the things that I kept noticing like he's not that tall. [00:03:36] Speaker A: Well, compared to Chris Pine. Yeah. And they make it a plot point too. [00:03:40] Speaker B: And then they. Well, which made me think of Bane because I'm like, you know, he looks so huge and imposing in that. So they really played those camera angles right? Because I think Christian Bale is probably like a 6.6foot something. So to make him seem equal to him, they really play those angles. And also he got ripped for that movie too. Anyways, enough talking about the Dark Knight Rises. So shall we get into our plot? [00:04:05] Speaker A: Plot synopsis? Yeah. So as always, we have our plot synopses. The spoilers begin right here, if you're curious. So here is our haiku for this means war. A love triangle. Escalating, sabotage. Eskimo brothers. [00:04:27] Speaker B: I was wondering if you were going to mention that. Double Eskimo brothers. [00:04:32] Speaker A: I got to tell my wife. Which was awesome. [00:04:35] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:04:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Remember the last two minutes of the movie, they learned that they are. [00:04:41] Speaker B: Oh, man. [00:04:43] Speaker A: For those of you who don't know what Eskimo brothers means. It means two men who have slept with the same woman. Which we learned in the last two minutes of the movie. Okay, so here is the limerick for this means war. There once were a couple Spy Joes who didn't put bros before hoes. And they soon put their tactics ahead of their ethics and ended up coming to blows. [00:05:03] Speaker B: All right, that's good. That's good. I like it. [00:05:05] Speaker A: Rangy. I think that may be one of the Best ones of all time, if I just say so myself. Here is the IMDb plot summary. CIA agents and best friends Franklin and Tuck discover that they are in love with the same woman. Each of them then decides to win her over by using their own skills. By the way, did you notice that this movie is directed by Mickey, the director of I Spy and Charlie's angel movies? Yeah, yeah. Well, all time capsule movies. And this movie feels like a time capsule to another time. [00:05:36] Speaker B: So we start off in Hong Kong, where we meet our spy protagonists, FDR and Tuck, and their mission is to apprehend the Heinrich brothers, get the device, and then we get a little taste of their personalities as they enter this fancy party. FDR is very outgoing. Tuck's more introverted. We also meet, you know, the Heinrich brothers, of whom I. One of them's name is. What is his. Oh, Carl. [00:06:00] Speaker A: Like, very German Heinrich. [00:06:04] Speaker B: But I definitely thought it's the guy who played Baron Von Strucker in Age of Ultron and was in. What's that other movie, Valkyrie like? Nope, it's the guy from Inglourious Basterds, which they looks pretty similar. And apparently he was also. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that's right. [00:06:19] Speaker B: He's also, I think, the bad guy in Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, if you remember. He's just kind of stuck playing those Nazi roles. [00:06:25] Speaker A: Hugo Stiglitz, right? [00:06:26] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, that's him. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Or Nazi adjacent roles. We also meet Angela Bassett, their boss, who just yells at them all the time, and they immediately hit on a couple of ladies. [00:06:39] Speaker B: Well, FDR does not so much. [00:06:43] Speaker A: Tuck, come on. Tuck is totally riding along with them. He was totally in on it, which I appreciate, because it's another case of the not gays. Have we already talked about this? [00:06:55] Speaker B: Maybe that was just in our conversation. Just in real life, we talked about it. [00:07:00] Speaker A: Okay, because in this movie, we got two guys who, like, spend all their time together. I thought they live together. It turns out that they don't, but, like, have no other friends besides each other, and they talk about seeing each other's junk at one point. So, you know, I can see some studio executive. I know the premise of the movie is they're both in love with the same woman, but I can see them at least being bi for each other. We'll do that fan edit along with the horror movie fan. [00:07:29] Speaker B: But yeah. So as they're entering the party, we hear shots fired. There's a big gun fight. They're both good at the action, and that makes me think about. All right, how many Spy movies. Has there Chris Pine been in. You're in. Jack Ryan, the contractor, all the old knives. This isn't. I think his character in Wonder Woman is a. Is a spy too. [00:07:51] Speaker A: I mean, sort of. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Well, he said he shouts out, I'm a spy. [00:07:54] Speaker A: I think he does do spying. [00:07:56] Speaker B: Yeah, he shouts it out when he gets the lasso of truth around him. [00:07:59] Speaker A: So the action is good. There's a part I really like where Tuck is hanging from the edge of the building. No railings. I don't know. Someone decided not to put any railings in the helipad, Chris. I mean, FDR punches the bad guy, the bad guy drops the case, and in one smooth shot, Tuck grabs it. I don't know how they did that. It looked really good. [00:08:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And the other brother, like, Bass, jumps off top of the roof, and the brother who gets pushed off by FDR lands on a car at the. At the bottom of the building. So much for covert. [00:08:36] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. And I said, okay, his brother's gonna want revenge. I can see where this is going. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Yep. And then we meet our female main character, Lauren, played by Reese Witherspoon, who works in consumer products, and she's testing out, like, frying pans and other things and seeing what's the best thing. [00:08:55] Speaker A: It's almost like it's a character insight. [00:08:57] Speaker B: And then we go to the CIA field office in la. The boys are in trouble with the boss, as you said, Angela Bassett. So that made me think, is this a prequel to Mission Impossible where she's the CIA boss and then the rest of them where she's the president? And I couldn't remember is like, is Angela Bassett in Night and Day? And I was like, nope, that's Viola Davis. That's the other Amanda Waller. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Yeah, seriously. [00:09:19] Speaker B: Did you remember that Angela Bassett played Amanda Waller in Green Lantern? [00:09:24] Speaker A: No, I did not remember that. [00:09:26] Speaker B: So, yes, they both played Amanda Waller. Yeah. [00:09:30] Speaker A: I recently saw the Naked Gun remake as CH Pounder is his boss. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Yes. Another Amanda. [00:09:36] Speaker A: Amanda Waller. Yeah. But I'm like, he's gonna be playing a cop's boss for the rest of her life at this. [00:09:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, have you seen Warehouse 13 with CCH Pounder is also in, like, the big boss role of a secret organization. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Oh, really? That's awesome. That's hilarious. I know. I was thinking of the Shield, which I. I've never seen. But anyway, so this CIA field office, even by Hollywood standards, is beyond nice. Yeah, it's incredible. [00:10:06] Speaker B: But, yeah, so because of the whole, you know, not covert nature of the. Of the operation, the boys are grounded. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Yeah. And FDR is, like, shocked that he's grounded. He cannot believe it. Which to me is funny, because he's a total Captain Kirk type. [00:10:23] Speaker B: You know? [00:10:23] Speaker A: Surely he must have been aware that this was a possibility, that this could happen. [00:10:28] Speaker B: Yep. Yep. [00:10:29] Speaker A: So I don't know. [00:10:30] Speaker B: All right, so we cut back over to Lauren, where she. Who has an awkward encounter with an ex. She runs into him on the street, and he's got a fiance with a giant ring. And then she goes into this sushi place where they all know that she's Sushi for one. And that's what they call her. [00:10:45] Speaker A: This was right out of a Hallmark movie, seeing as how we just did one. She's very single, and she's jealous of people who are in relationships. [00:10:53] Speaker B: No. [00:10:53] Speaker A: Which is such a likable character. Traitor. [00:10:56] Speaker B: It's not that she's jealous. It's. Well, maybe she's a little jealous, but it's also just like. It's the awkwardness of seeing your ex with someone who. Who you. You know, is now engaged. She's. They're not engaged to. That's just so awkward. [00:11:09] Speaker A: Especially when we learn later that he cheated on her and that's why the relationship didn't work out. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And that he. She moved across the country for him. Of course, the. Her ex and new fiance end up sitting right next to her at sushi. And the ex is like, oh, yeah, where's Ken? Your. Your surgeon, you know, boyfriend? And. And the sushi chef is. No. Sushi for one. Always sushi for one. Yeah. [00:11:36] Speaker A: Well, did you see the sushi chef is named Ken? [00:11:39] Speaker B: No, I did not. [00:11:41] Speaker A: Yeah, he had a name tag that said Ken. [00:11:44] Speaker B: That's great. I didn't catch that. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Yeah, so the lesson here, folks, is try to avoid telling lies. You get busted. [00:11:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Or just tell more believable ones or something. All right, so the boys are over at FDR's grandmother's house, who was played by Aunt May from the Raimi movies. [00:12:05] Speaker A: And again, it's just the two of them having a lovely conversation off by. [00:12:09] Speaker B: Themselves, just saying, hey, guys can be close friends. It's fine. [00:12:16] Speaker A: True. They also work together. Obviously, we discussed that. [00:12:20] Speaker B: And we also get here more of a taste of their personalities. Tuck is definitely the more romantic one, and FDR is more shallow. And we find out that Tuck has a kid, but him and his baby mommy couldn't work things out. [00:12:32] Speaker A: There's also a part where Aunt May wants them to date. FDR can't even imagine what it's like, to be in love, which is a little sad, I must say. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Yep. And then we go and see their, you know, respective lives apart from each other. [00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And clearly they're taking bribes from a foreign government because their apartments are absurdly nice. [00:12:56] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Like FDR has. His roof is the bottom of a swimming pool and there's a beautiful woman swimming just right past him. Above him, rather. [00:13:07] Speaker A: Yeah. I bet the CIA director could not afford an apartment that nice, let alone just some random guy in it. [00:13:13] Speaker B: And this is in la. It's hilarious. [00:13:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:15] Speaker B: Geez. And we see that Tuck's kid is in a martial arts class and there's, like a really intensive coach dad who's there and, like, is telling his kid to beat up Tuck's kid. [00:13:29] Speaker A: Yeah. A karate dad. [00:13:31] Speaker B: Yeah. And then we meet Tuck's ex, whose name is Katie, I think something like that. [00:13:36] Speaker A: Katie, yeah. [00:13:38] Speaker B: Who's played by the exact. Timeless. You ever watch Timeless? [00:13:43] Speaker A: No. What is that? [00:13:44] Speaker B: It's a time travel show. It's got her. It's got Matt Lanter, AKA voice of Anakin Skywalker from the Clone Wars. And it's really. [00:13:58] Speaker A: What is so good about it? [00:14:00] Speaker B: Just the way they do the time travel and have, like, there's a. It's. There's a secret organization that. And there's, you know, a diary. It's, it's. It's. It's. It's. Well done. Time travel show, I'd say. [00:14:12] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:14:13] Speaker B: Yeah. And they go back to various time periods. They do have. They have one where they go back to the moon. Right. Moon landing. Another one when they go and meet Ian Fleming. So, yeah, it's fun. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Oh, so it's like Doctor who, where they meet. [00:14:26] Speaker B: It is very Doctor who esque. Yeah. [00:14:29] Speaker A: All right. Interesting. I've been showing my wife American Science Fiction because I like it. She's not so into it, but she like Back to the Future. And this week I showed her the Voyage Home, Star Trek, which was a. A big hit. [00:14:42] Speaker B: Nice. [00:14:42] Speaker A: A big hit. [00:14:44] Speaker B: So there's costumes from a couple years back. Finally make sense to her. [00:14:50] Speaker A: Yeah, she thought it was great. This is funny. And she said I looked like old Captain Kirk, but not young Captain Kirk. Old Captain Kirk, which. I don't know how to take that. [00:15:00] Speaker B: I think it's the hair. His hair is just different. When he gets old, it's more curly, which is like yours. [00:15:04] Speaker A: That's exactly what she said. I wasn't gonna mention that part, but it's true. Yeah. [00:15:08] Speaker B: It's not that you look old. It's just. Although, how old was Shatner by that point? [00:15:13] Speaker A: That's okay. He does look old in the remastered, you know, Paramount streaming version of the movies. They all look a lot older. But anyway, so. So they leave the dojo, and again, it's the nicest dojo I've ever seen. It's no karate strip mall. It's a whole building that looks like a pagoda. I just thought that was funny. This movie's very Hollywood Land. Everything's super nice. Everyone's attractive. [00:15:39] Speaker B: Oh, yes. We meet Lauren's friend, who's played by Chelsea Handler, who's probably the worst character in this movie. [00:15:45] Speaker A: At least she's got some personality. I'm gonna give her that. [00:15:48] Speaker B: Too much personality. [00:15:49] Speaker A: She's a walking failed Bechdel test. All she ever wants to talk about is men. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Back to the boys. They both see, like, the same online ad for an online dating site. And Tuck's interested, but FDR is like, change the channel. [00:16:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, FDR doesn't need online dating because he just goes out and picks up every woman he sees. Apparel. [00:16:13] Speaker B: And then. So, yeah, Lauren's friend, whose name I do not remember, made made Lauren a very trashy online dating profile. Everyone here, her office, sees it. But then she sees who's, you know, swiped left or right. Which. Whichever way you swipe. I don't actually know which one's the. You know, which ones this is. [00:16:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:35] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, she matched up with Tucker. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I never use this kind of online dating, but it was pretender pre swiping. That's what it means where it's a public profile, anybody can see it. You don't have to go through a bunch of people to find it. This is a different way of doing things. It's very 2012. [00:16:54] Speaker B: Like, I never did any sort of online dating side. I, like, don't know necessarily. [00:17:01] Speaker A: Well, I met my wife that way, so don't let anyone tell you it doesn't work. [00:17:04] Speaker B: Oh, I'm not knocking it. No, it's worked for a lot of people I know. And that a lot of creatures, great couples like you. Yeah, like. Like you and your wife, but I just never tried it. [00:17:12] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that's more aimed at our audience. [00:17:14] Speaker B: Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah. So FDR is chastising Tuck about going on that site and he. He actually says it's poor operational security. You're putting all your personal information out there. [00:17:26] Speaker A: It's true, but that's just life, the way it works now. And he had no idea, I'm sure. What was Going to come with social media. It's going to get crazy. But there's a little bit of codependence here where he literally wants to come on the date. I'm like, D1, you got to let it go. This is ridiculous. [00:17:43] Speaker B: Yeah. So we see Tuck and Lauren's first date and yeah, FDR is around the corner at a video store waiting to see how it goes. And it's like, wow, a video rental store. That's retro. [00:17:57] Speaker A: Yeah, another time capsule, I think in 2012. They were already on their way out, I have a feeling. But something interesting here is Lauren asks Tuck to tell her something personal. Yeah, she asked him a bunch of personal questions, including like, have you killed anybody? And he says, not this week. But the thing is, she doesn't tell him anything personal in response. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Well, at least not that we notice that. [00:18:21] Speaker A: I guess it could have been edited. We watched the normal version, not the extended edition Lord of the Rings. [00:18:29] Speaker B: I also liked it in the video rental place. They had Young Frankenstein on the, on the TV playing Talking about Love. Have you ever seen the Young Frankenstein? Great, great. [00:18:40] Speaker A: Only, like, parts of it. [00:18:41] Speaker B: Ah, you should watch the whole thing. It's good. [00:18:46] Speaker A: I'll show it to my wife. We do watch classic movies. [00:18:49] Speaker B: After a pretty successful first date, Lauren goes into the video rental store and like, runs into FDR and they get. They're a little flirty. We find out that FDR is a cinephile. He like, recommends a Hitchcock movie. One of the lesser known second tier in Lauren's opinion. Hitchcock. And you, like, she sees right through fdr, knows his. Can already tell what his tactics are and how he's like scouting out, you know, the video rental and like calls out a few different women of why he shouldn't go after them. [00:19:21] Speaker A: Yeah. So she's really got his number. So the whole premise of this movie is that he falls for her without knowing that Tuck went on a date with her. [00:19:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Which I don't really buy that Tuck would go on a date and not show the picture of the one he's going on a date with with his bestest, bestest buddy. You know what I mean? [00:19:43] Speaker B: I didn't even think about that. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Because later they realize they're dating the same woman. [00:19:48] Speaker B: Yeah, this is also like pre smartphones or like a large, you know, so it's not like you just say, oh, look, there she is on my phone kind of deal. They have to both have to find like a photo of her later on. [00:20:02] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it's important because otherwise if FDR knows that it's the same woman that Tuck went on the date with, then he's just, like, a total, like, dick. Yeah, exactly. I mean, he kind of is. Anyway, they both are. But more about that later. Actually. No, we'll talk about it now. [00:20:17] Speaker B: Yeah, right. Oh, when they're, oh, this super sketchy. Yes. FDR has a tech guy hack into the video rental database to get Lauren's details, which is so sketchy. Also, actually, I do remember you having to have, like, an ID or credit card to, like, get a rental card, but they wouldn't store that. They would just, you know, the photos and everything would take. At least not that I thought of. So that's a little. [00:20:43] Speaker A: Gets a lot worse. He's wasting government resources. [00:20:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:46] Speaker A: And it's illegal. [00:20:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:20:49] Speaker A: And what's amazing is the movie knows this. They talk about it later. They just don't care. [00:20:53] Speaker B: Yeah. So, and then FDR and Tuck are both, like, looking up details about their respective girls who they don't realize is the same girl, and they're like, oh, do you want to see? So we get that moment. Just later on, they show each other the pictures and the same girl, and we get some back and forth between them. I'm like, how do you. You knew? No, I didn't know. But they agree on, like, ground rules. We can't tell her that we know each other and we can't sleep with her. [00:21:20] Speaker A: Yeah. So this is turning into one of those, like, teen movies. I can't think of one right now. Isn't there a teen movie where two guys have a bet on, like, who can sleep with this girl first? Does that sound familiar? [00:21:34] Speaker B: I'm sure it does, but I can't think of what movie that is. [00:21:38] Speaker A: Yeah, it's one of those movies like, she's the man or She's all that or something like that. But you also skipped a part where FDR shows up at Lauren's work and, like, harasses her in front of a bunch of people. That was crazy. Put some scary music underneath it and you got yourself a horror scene. [00:21:57] Speaker B: Yep, yep, yep. And actually, in my notes, I have. And you thought Night and Day was creepy. [00:22:02] Speaker A: Well, Night and Day is worse. Is it that because he, like, follows her around a lot more than this. [00:22:09] Speaker B: Yeah, but he doesn't plant surveillance on her. [00:22:12] Speaker A: Well, also, but Night and Day, she's like, don't follow me. Like, leave me alone. Which just doesn't happen here. [00:22:18] Speaker B: I don't know. I think. At least not right away, it gets worse. [00:22:22] Speaker A: It's because it's two of them too. [00:22:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Anyways, Heinrich goes to a tailor in Savile Row with a piece of FDR suit and tries to find out. All right, this is a rare fabric. Send it to someone in la. So now Heinrich knows where to go and I like. So, speaking of codependent, FDR and Tuck apparently have a standing appointment to play Rock Band on, you know, whatever night. And so he's, like, waiting for Tuck to come over, but Tuck's on a date with Lauren at Coney island and FDR is clearly very upset. He's leaving voicemails. He seems a little Stalker. Girlfriendy. [00:23:00] Speaker A: Yeah. He says, 14 this messages, which is crazy. And so something occurred to me here, Christian. So Lauren swiped on. We're close enough to it. Tuck first. And she basically had to be convinced by FDR to give him her number. So clearly, I feel at least at this point, she likes Tuck more. And FDR is being a dick by now. Letting it go. [00:23:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:27] Speaker A: Row code violation, as they said in 2012. [00:23:30] Speaker B: Oh, that is still safe to. [00:23:32] Speaker A: Bro Code or is that cool? [00:23:34] Speaker B: That's gone. I think once they made, you know, made it into an actual book from How I Met yout Mother, the Bro Code, which I think I still have a copy somewhere. I think that it just got over commercialized and now it's just not a. Not a used terminology. [00:23:51] Speaker A: It's not cool anymore. [00:23:52] Speaker B: No. No. Where was I? Oh, yes. So. [00:23:56] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, they're at the circus. They're holding hands. They do trapeze flying. This is interesting because Lauren's, like, afraid of everything. She was like the girl from Christmas Charade where she can't, like, leave her house, but then she's flying around on a trapeze all of a sudden. [00:24:10] Speaker B: I never got that opinion of her. [00:24:13] Speaker A: There's a little bit of dialogue. [00:24:14] Speaker B: And I didn't get. I didn't get that vibe from her. I really. I got what? That she, you know, researches everything intensely, both at her job and her personality. But I never got that. She was, like, sheltered. Yeah. But the trapeze thing did remind me of the Spy who Dumped Me. The ending of that, remember? [00:24:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:31] Speaker B: McKinnon's on the. On the trapeze. Yeah. [00:24:35] Speaker A: At the end, when they're lying on the net and making out, I was like, are they gonna, like, bang right here at the circus? I forgot about the agreement that they weren't going to. [00:24:45] Speaker B: So Lauren calls her friend and she says she feels weird about dating two guys. Tuck is in the office and people are some Colleagues are looking for him, and he said, oh, he's on a date. And then they say, oh, yeah, that guy's an assassin. He goes after everything. [00:24:58] Speaker A: Or. Yeah. [00:25:01] Speaker B: So now Tuck is worried about FDR and decides to put surveillance on him. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Right. So he's spying on Lauren and on his good friend. [00:25:11] Speaker B: She's not spying on Lauren yet. [00:25:14] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, he works up to that. [00:25:16] Speaker B: Yeah. FDR brings Lauren to a club and he's got the VIP treatment. He's saying hi to the bouncer, to all the bartenders, to the dj, has that, like, has them put up a table right there for him. And she sees right through all of it, calls him out, and she's about to leave, but then sees her ex from before and has fdr, like, kiss her so she doesn't have to talk to them and to make it seem like they, you know, she's actually with someone. And he goes along with it, pretends to be a neurosurgeon. And then that's when FDR gets the story about Steve, her ex. [00:25:51] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. You might call it a Christmas charade. But also, in this part where they're at the club, the dialogue is too fast for me to write it down a lot, but I feel like FDR was trashing Lauren a little bit. One might even call it negging if you're online enough. Because doesn't he say things like, oh, I get it. You're too old or tired or whatever to go to clubs and be cool like me? Doesn't he say something like that? [00:26:13] Speaker B: There's a little bit of that, yeah. Yeah. [00:26:17] Speaker A: So that was interesting. [00:26:20] Speaker B: Negging, wow, 2012. What can I say to quote Kingsman, wow, neggging. I haven't seen that since the Naughties. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Let's talk about this. Did you ever read the book the Game where that Comes From? No. [00:26:33] Speaker B: I know what, though. But I know of it rather. [00:26:35] Speaker A: But you know what it is? [00:26:36] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. It's a pickup artist book. [00:26:38] Speaker A: I did read it. No, it's not. It's not. What it's about is about. It's about a journalist who joins the pickup artist community. [00:26:46] Speaker B: Right, right. Okay. Sorry. That's right. Yeah. [00:26:49] Speaker A: And he learns all of their techniques, and he gets really good at it, and he sleeps with a lot of women and he learns it doesn't make him happy. So it's. It's a story of what happens the day after you get what you think you always wanted. [00:27:05] Speaker B: Okay. All right. [00:27:07] Speaker A: So that was interesting. [00:27:09] Speaker B: Yeah. The FDR confronts Tuck about using surveillance on Him. And then the boss comes in with a mission. We find out that Carl is trying to get smuggled into the country and that Ivan Sokanov is who he's trying to get him to smuggle him in. Tuck and FDR decide to go on full recon and operations for their dates with Lauren. Bring in outside. You know, some teams, I love how. [00:27:35] Speaker A: This stuff with Heinrich is not even a secondary. [00:27:37] Speaker B: Right. [00:27:37] Speaker A: It's like a tertiary plot. You can tell the writers really don't care and they just had to put it in because it's a spy movie. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Yeah, but this is such a waste of government resources. And we see FDR and Tuck, like, installing bugs while Lauren is there. Nice. It's a nice oner. I did say. I like that. Because you see them both avoiding Lauren and each other, even though it doesn't make any sense. [00:28:01] Speaker A: Like, why would they just do it when she's not home? [00:28:03] Speaker B: So back on the actual mission, the boys are given an address for Ivan Sokonov, who's getting Carl into the country. It's a club and they have a. There's a private poker game. We get a shootout and then they capture Ivan. [00:28:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, I also had a quick observation. When Lauren is dancing in her kitchen and they're planting bugs, my wife said she has three mixers. [00:28:22] Speaker B: That is interesting, though, because she's like, you would think being in consumer products, she'd know which one is the best one and just get that one and not three of them. [00:28:29] Speaker A: Well, my explanation is she gets a lot of free stuff because she tests products. Or like, our doctors get a bunch of pens. We didn't look that closely, but yeah. [00:28:39] Speaker B: But yeah. So as after they've captured Ivan, both of their boys, surveillance teams who are not monitoring Lauren, contract contact both of them. We find that Lauren's calling her friend for an urgent talk and Lauren's showing pictures of both of them to her friend. And then FDR is in the surveillance van. Tuck finds this, the van easily and say, all right, well, you know, you're here. Might as well share resources. And like, Lauren is comparing both of the guys. This is where we get the joke about, it's funny. [00:29:06] Speaker A: She trashes one of them, the other one laughs. Trashes the other one. The first one laughs. [00:29:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:29:11] Speaker A: That's probably the best part of the movie. [00:29:12] Speaker B: I enjoyed that. Yeah. And so she gives herself a deadline, one week, and then she has to make a decision. [00:29:17] Speaker A: That's right. Which is good. A time lock. [00:29:19] Speaker B: There you go. So we get more surveillance and research on Laura that they're doing. This is where I start to hear, like, some echoes of Bane in Tuck's voice. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, what does he say? [00:29:30] Speaker B: I don't know, but it just sounded. [00:29:32] Speaker A: Very, very much like, man. [00:29:37] Speaker B: So, yeah, FDR finds out that her dad used to collect Camaros. FDR takes her on a Camaro driving course. Oh, no. Tuck does that. Tuck does that. And then FDR finds out her favorite artist is Gustav Klimt. So he gets a bunch of the art somehow, probably using government resources, and put. Gets them in a warehouse and she gets to see all of them. And this part I liked, where he's getting fed lines by his surveillance team about what, you know, what the actual pieces are. But then Tuck hacks in and starts feeding him wrong info. I enjoyed that. [00:30:11] Speaker A: It's great. I wish the whole movie could be like that. The whole movie should have been them going on dates and the other one sabotaging the other. The other one trying to make it work. The problem is. And we. We also get this when they're gonna sleep together. And then FDR turns on the apparently torrential sprinklers that cause, like, torrential rain and presumably destroys all of his friends stuff. [00:30:34] Speaker B: Right. [00:30:35] Speaker A: The problem with it, though, and I know it's a movie, so please don't tell me it's. I'm aware it's a movie. [00:30:40] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:41] Speaker A: Lauren comes off like an idiot that she can't figure out that something keeps. [00:30:46] Speaker B: Keep going wrong. [00:30:48] Speaker A: Not only why things keep going wrong, but she says, I like this artist. And then suddenly, conveniently, this guy is also really into the artist. [00:30:57] Speaker B: Yeah, like. [00:30:58] Speaker A: Like, come on. Like, really? Really? [00:31:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:02] Speaker A: And does she ever find out that they spy on her in the whole movie? [00:31:06] Speaker B: I don't think so. [00:31:07] Speaker A: I don't think she does, no. Yeah, maybe it's in the extended edition. [00:31:12] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe. Lauren says that the FDR is not sensitive enough, so he takes her to a pet shelter to try to show his sensitive side. And I like that he treats it like the club where he's like, hi to all these people. But he obviously doesn't know any of the people at the pet shelter, so he gives them. And he'll stare at him. Who the hell are you talking to? [00:31:33] Speaker A: And she's like. [00:31:33] Speaker B: She gets attacked by, you know, one of the shelter dogs. [00:31:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Someone finally points out that this is unconstitutional. [00:31:40] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, Tuck. She overhears that. She doesn't think he's. He's too safe. So he takes her paintballing and. Right. I. I saw this coming. So. Right. Up at the front, she talks about muzzle awareness. You know, keep that pointed away from me. [00:31:58] Speaker A: Right. [00:31:58] Speaker B: Tuck's not wearing any protective gear, and it takes me a second to realize that they're all playing against a bunch of kids and he's just, like, mowing them down. [00:32:07] Speaker A: Yeah, he was a little too far. [00:32:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:10] Speaker A: But, you know, it's interesting that she says he's safe, because I'd have to get back to the trapeze thing. [00:32:14] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, right. [00:32:17] Speaker A: I mean, that's not super safe, but he could have done something like taking her for a motorcycle ride or literally anything that doesn't involve hurting other people. Yeah. [00:32:26] Speaker B: And do paint grenades exist? Is that a real thing? For paintball? [00:32:32] Speaker A: It was pretty funny, though. I think they do exist, but not like that. Not in the way they showed in the movie. [00:32:37] Speaker B: And then, of course, Laura doesn't get a single shot off until Chuck tells her the safety's on. Do paintball guns have safeties? I actually don't know. I've never got paintballing really. [00:32:46] Speaker A: I've been a few times, and they do have safeties. Okay. [00:32:51] Speaker B: All right. I wasn't sure if that was just a thing. [00:32:52] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. If people say it's like getting stung by a bee, yeah, that's probably accurate. Getting shot in the crotch by one would hurt a lot. [00:33:01] Speaker B: Oh. And especially almost point black range, too. Anyway, so here I'm having more fun when they get hurt or bad things happen to the boys. I'm not really rooting for either of them at this point. I'm just like, this is. They should not be doing this. This is. I'm. I'm enjoying when the bad things happen. [00:33:19] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. It's a little interesting seeing Tom Hardy as a goofy slapstick comedy guy. We don't see that very often. [00:33:26] Speaker B: No, not really. [00:33:27] Speaker A: Yeah. This is one of those movies where none of the characters are especially likable. [00:33:31] Speaker B: And so at this point, Lauren talks to her friend, says she needs to have a sex tiebreaker. Of course, both the boys hear this, and they reiterate their deal, but both decide that they're gonna go back on their deal. So this is where they again sabotage each other. You mentioned the. What was it? The sprinklers. Also, they play Sabotage by Beastie Boys, which. How many Chris Pine movies have the song Sabotage in them? Three. That I can count at least. [00:33:58] Speaker A: 3. Yeah, it was pretty funny. It's also very on the nose because he's sabotaging them. His body while he does it. So I'm going to Kirsten. I'M going to tell you a little bit of dating information here. [00:34:11] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:13] Speaker A: So when I was looking to get married and I was doing a lot of dating, I read a lot of books, listened to a lot of podcasts, okay. It's because I needed book knowledge about dating as well as more experience doing it. Now one of the things I learned from this is if you're dating an American woman, okay, there are cultural differences, sure, in different places that you go, but if we're talking about a blonde, professional LA dwelling woman like Lauren. Yeah. Okay. If you don't at least try to sleep with her by the third date, she will think you're not interested. [00:34:49] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:34:50] Speaker A: Okay. That is something that I learned. It is something that I actually experienced not to get too personal. [00:34:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:57] Speaker A: Which is to say I didn't try to sleep with a woman on a third date and she thought I wasn't interested and bailed. Huh. Okay, interesting. So that's a little bit of information. I bring this up to say these guys have been dating Lauren for at least a couple of weeks because they've gone on a lot of dates. [00:35:13] Speaker B: Right. [00:35:14] Speaker A: And not. And by now I'm surprised that it hasn't come up. [00:35:17] Speaker B: Yes. Especially I also look like Chris Spine and Tom Hardy. [00:35:20] Speaker A: What does that mean? Like, all the more reason why she would think it's weird that they haven't made a move yet. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Maybe, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, well. And the revenge for the sprinklers. Tuck, tranq darts, fdr, like, wow, that seems like a step above the sprinklers just for me, for some reason, at. [00:35:37] Speaker A: Least he didn't destroy his whole apartment. But he does say 4 inches to the left, I would have been dead. [00:35:42] Speaker B: Right? Yeah, that's what I'm like. That seems more. More extreme. Anyway, so the boys are going to interrogate Ivan, or at least attempt to. But they kind of let their issues get in the way. But they find out that Heinrich is now in la. [00:35:54] Speaker A: The joke about torturing him with pliers. Haha, very funny. [00:35:58] Speaker B: So FDR brings Lauren to his grandparents place. Nana takes La Lauren away to chat. We find out FDR's backstory. His parents died when he was nine and that Lauren's the first girl that FDR's brought there. FDR. Shaq shows more of a sensitive side. And after that, FDR and Lord have sex at his place. And the tech guys are like creepily watching. They question it, but they still watch. [00:36:24] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I mean, come on. But also, what's amazing is FDR knows about the surveillance and does it anyway, which is. I don't even know what to say. That's crazy. But my wife made a prediction here. [00:36:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:39] Speaker A: She said, see, FDR brought Lauren home. That's why she's gonna end up with him. [00:36:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:45] Speaker A: Okay, well, that's why. That's. That shows that he's serious, and that's why they're gonna end up together. Okay, well, actually, we'll talk about. Now, did you think. What did you predict? What did you think was gonna happen at this point? Yeah. [00:36:55] Speaker B: I'd seen this before, and I could not remember who she ended up with, actually. [00:37:01] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:02] Speaker B: But at this point, I was like, I feel like it's Tom Hardy for some reason, but I don't remember why. [00:37:06] Speaker A: Did you think it was gonna be like Pearl harbor where one of them was gonna die and make the choice for her? [00:37:10] Speaker B: I didn't remember either of them dying. So I was like, no, that's not. That's not it. [00:37:15] Speaker A: I thought she was gonna end up with neither of them. She was gonna be like, you guys spied on me. You guys did all this creepy stuff. I don't need either one of you. I'm out of here. [00:37:24] Speaker B: Actually, in my notes, I have here. I actually don't remember who she ends up with. Like, late, right at this moment. [00:37:29] Speaker A: See, there you go. [00:37:30] Speaker B: So good timing on that question, too. So the tech guys tell Tuck that they didn't get a recording from last night. And they're like, no, seriously, you don't want to see it. And then say. All right, just tell me what happened. Well, FDR entered the premises. And then he entered the premises. Like, you know, that's actually pretty good. I laughed. [00:37:49] Speaker A: Yeah. That's some pretty clever dialogue. I like how the team tries to, like, help him with his feelings. [00:37:55] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:37:55] Speaker A: Try to, like, talk him down. [00:37:57] Speaker B: So FDR is back at his place, and he's watching Titanic, because now he's all. He's in love. [00:38:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:04] Speaker B: Although maybe not. Maybe he is. He is a cinephile, so maybe he just likes watching Titanic. [00:38:08] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't think so. He even rejects his booty call. That shows up. [00:38:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Which this reminds you. Ever see the movie Down with love with Ewan McGregor and Rennell Zweger? [00:38:20] Speaker A: No. What is that? [00:38:22] Speaker B: It is basically a modern day. By modern day, I mean, like, 2005 or 4. It's a. It's like a redo of one of those, like, Hudson comedies from the 60s. [00:38:32] Speaker A: Okay, interesting. [00:38:34] Speaker B: And there's a. There's a recurring bit where you and group McGregor's character, who's the ladies man's man's man about man about town, has attendance that he'll see every so often. And so when the FDR has a flight attendant who comes in as. Like she's on a layover. This just makes me think of that. [00:38:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Do you think she was the one swimming in this pool earlier? [00:38:53] Speaker B: Could have been. We don't know. Yeah. How long? I don't know. How long has it been usually? Probably the monthly cycle info for layovers. [00:39:00] Speaker A: My guess is it's a deleted scene. [00:39:03] Speaker B: But yeah, so he. Yeah, he turns her down. FDR call or Tuck calls out FDR while they're at the office and says that he actually really has feelings for Lauren and how he brought her to Nana so that you could get into. Get into her pants. [00:39:15] Speaker A: I like how they had this conversation very loudly in the middle of their office. [00:39:20] Speaker B: Right? So Tuck, he doesn't have a big family or a grandmother to bring over to, but he can introduce Lauren to his kid, which. How long have they been dating at this point? Like, this seems real soon to introduce a kid. [00:39:32] Speaker A: No, I don't think so. Not by dating standards. [00:39:35] Speaker B: Really. [00:39:36] Speaker A: It's been at least a few weeks. Unless they go on a date every day, which I don't think so. [00:39:42] Speaker B: I don't know. I mean, she gave herself a timeline of a week. [00:39:45] Speaker A: I don't know. I mean, it's Hollywood land. Maybe they go on a date every night, in which case. Yeah, I would all kind of check out. [00:39:52] Speaker B: It seemed real quick for to introduce a kid anyways. But that's. That was his move. So Lauren brings Tuck and his kid to her office. They get to test out a bunch of consumer goods to have a water hose fight. And then Tuck drives Lauren home and they're making out. And as they're making out, I like this. The Tuck's taking out all the bugs that FDR planted. [00:40:17] Speaker A: Right. He also drops the L word. [00:40:19] Speaker B: Right? That. That. Yeah. [00:40:21] Speaker A: Right. [00:40:22] Speaker B: Which I don't. I was like, is he honest about this or is he just using this to try to get level with. With fdr. The fact that I'm questioning that is making me wonder is that, oh, maybe they don't end up together. [00:40:37] Speaker A: I think he means it. He's not as manipulative as fdr. He's not a ladies man. But then the. The surveillance, apparently he'll do whatever it takes in order to win. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Right? Yeah. So, yeah. [00:40:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:49] Speaker B: There's another talk with Lauren's friend who actually has Good advice here. I was like, oh, wow. Yeah. The advice was, you know, don't be with the best guy. Make. Be with the guy who makes you the best you. Or something like that. [00:41:05] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. And I've heard this too. It's choose the person who makes you feel better about yourself. Makes you the best version of yourself. [00:41:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:12] Speaker A: The trouble is the movie doesn't follow through on it. She ends up choosing fdr. I don't see how FDR makes her a better version of herself. [00:41:19] Speaker B: No, maybe the other way around. She makes FDR a better version of him, but that doesn't really. Yeah, that's not the reason for. So the boys are, you know, fighting, and this brings up bigger issues. And now their friendship and partnership. Work. Partnership is over. And, like, what? They're like, yeah. Filing for transfers. Lauren calls Tuck. And FDR looks so sad. [00:41:48] Speaker A: Yeah, Sad music too. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. So the tech team is watching the previous night's surveillance. And, like, if, you know, FDR and Tuck both shut down their surveillance teams. But, you know, Tuck's team is just, you know, clearing the last bit before watch, you know, filing glass pit before they clear it. And we get a classic zoom and enhance. [00:42:08] Speaker A: Yeah. On surveillance footage this time. [00:42:11] Speaker B: Yeah. See Heinrich in the background of the footage. Fdr. Oh, Z. FDR is watching. That's right. Finds Tuck and Lauren at the restaurant. And this is like. Did you watch a lot of Friends back in the day? [00:42:24] Speaker A: I have maybe seen one episode of Friends in my whole life. [00:42:28] Speaker B: There is an episode in, like, one of the later seasons of Friends where Joey and Ross end up in this situation. They're dating the same girl. And then there's a big, long scene of where they pretend not to know each other and they end up at this restaurant together. And then they start mentioning very specific call outs to each other's past and to try to, you know, make the girl not like them. Like this just sounds exactly like that. [00:42:55] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, it sounds like they ripped it off. It's basically what happens. [00:42:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:00] Speaker B: FDR tells Tuck that Heinrich is in la. Tuck thinks it's deployed to get, you know, get him out of this. And they have a fight in the restaurant while Lauren is hyperventilating in the restroom. [00:43:09] Speaker A: It's another great part. Lauren finally breaks after all this insanity that's entered her life. And the fight is pretty good. They destroy the whole restaurant. It's hilarious. [00:43:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:43:21] Speaker A: There's a part where someone gets thrown through a plate glass window. [00:43:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Lauren comes out of the restaurant and sees the place demolished. And, like, also overhears that they call each other friends. And the practice. The fact that she doesn't even, like, react to the restaurant being destroyed, but then just, like, it catches her that they. Right, you two know each other. That's what's tripping you up. That's not the fact that this whole place is demolished and they're lying each other and they're beaten to the heck. Yeah. [00:43:51] Speaker A: No, clearly Lauren's been pushed to the edge of sanity by this. [00:43:55] Speaker B: Fair enough. [00:43:56] Speaker A: You finally did something that makes sense. And she leaves. [00:43:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:59] Speaker A: Yeah, should have done a long time ago. [00:44:01] Speaker B: And she has Chelsea Handler pick her up. But as soon as she does, Heinrich comes and she kidnaps Lauren and her friend and calls Tuck on Lauren's phone. And we find out that they both put trackers on Lauren. Although Tuck only put the tracker in her friend phone, not on Lord herself. Yeah, that was pretty degrees of minor degrees better. But not really. [00:44:28] Speaker A: No, I. It's the same. That's why it's funny. [00:44:31] Speaker B: Yeah. So they go, they get a. Get a Jeep and drive after her. FDR jumps from one car to the other, grabs Lauren, dumps out the goon. It's in the back of the car. And then Tuck shoots out the friend's tires and launches her into lake. That seems pretty dangerous. [00:44:50] Speaker A: It was awesome. Whatever. I don't care. It was great. [00:44:53] Speaker B: So more car chase and gunfights. Tuck's kid sees him on the news. [00:44:59] Speaker A: This was also like night and day, right? [00:45:00] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:45:01] Speaker A: The bad guys are chasing them. Yeah. [00:45:03] Speaker B: They run out of road. And now the boys are friends again. [00:45:08] Speaker A: Yeah. They're supposed to say, I love you, man. There's a part where Lauren says, I'm the Yoko and I have to explain to my wife what that meant. [00:45:15] Speaker B: That's funny. That's funny. I think I enjoy either when they were there were friends or when they were having that, you know, being really good at, you know, working together. Or I enjoyed when they were just ruining each other. Oh, yeah. So they run out of road. Heinrich is trying to ram them. And then Lauren has some useful advice because she tells them to shoot out the headlights. Because she remembers on that model of car, if they hit the headlights. [00:45:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:40] Speaker B: Airbags will instantly activate. And so they do that and the car is exploding, you know, explodes. And it starts rolling towards Lauren, like, you know, sideways. She's in the middle. On one side is Tuck, one size fdr. And she's. They're both shout, come here. Come here. And then we see the car roll off the edge of the interstate and we see that she had gone to FDR and news cameras from a news helicopter capture them. So I guess their covert careers are over now. [00:46:10] Speaker A: Presumably. Yes. That's if they don't end up in federal prison for all the abuse of government time that they did. [00:46:16] Speaker B: Yeah. So we see Lauren and FDR kiss. Tuck goes back to his kids martial arts class and you know, gets back at the, the karate dad. And now Tuck is apparently getting back together with his ex, which seems real sudden. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Well, this is also interesting too that she didn't know that he was a CIA this whole time. Yeah. And now she's like, oh wow, you can inflict violence on your fellow man. I'm totally interested now. [00:46:46] Speaker B: Well, maybe we don't really get the reasons for why they didn't. Why they broke up. Maybe he was gone all the time, had no good explanations for this sort of thing. And because of that travel. So maybe there's actually when it's revealed, it explains a lot of things about why it didn't work. And said that if she knows now, then they could make it work again. I don't know. [00:47:06] Speaker A: And a little bit convenient so that he gets a happy ending. [00:47:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:09] Speaker A: You know, and isn't just left sad and alone because the girl chose him. I did like the way that they did that though, that she had to pick one of them to run and hide with and that she was the one who saved the day and stopped the car. I did notice also no body for Heinrich. [00:47:29] Speaker B: Anyway, so at some point later in a chopper. Although the interior didn't look like a chopper to me. [00:47:38] Speaker A: Oh really? I don't think I noticed that. [00:47:40] Speaker B: Yeah, it looked like the interior looked one of Those like a C130 kind of things where you always, you see the military airplane with the like ramp in the back. That's usually what they're jumping out of when you see people doing these kind of jumps, these military movies. But the exterior they showed was like a, a two bladed chopper. But I don't know that much about helicopters. So maybe there it does look like that on the inside. Anyway, so they're on a mission. So I guess their covert careers are not over. [00:48:09] Speaker A: No, well, I mean, I guess they're more like commandos now maybe. [00:48:13] Speaker B: Anyway, so Lauren calls and we find out that they got engaged. And this is where you know, Tuck tells fdr, tells Tuck and says and says yeah, I want you to be my best man. That's not making it weird, the fact that we both slept with her and this is where FDR reveals that he slept with Katie and we find out that Tuck actually never did sleep with Lord. He only wanted. He only let Tuck or FDR think that he slept with Lauren. So now Tuck's pissed off that FDR slept with his wife. And this is where he really sounds like, babe, you slept with my wife? [00:48:46] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I also think it was interesting that they were talking to Lauren over an open line while her presumably not cleared friend is sitting right next to her. [00:48:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that too. So they jump out the plane and with that, our movie ends. [00:49:02] Speaker A: That's right. And there's no post credit scene where they go to federal prison. [00:49:06] Speaker B: I looked, I was like, all right, let me fast forward. Nope, nothing. [00:49:11] Speaker A: Actually, my streaming service HBO Max cut out like halfway through the credits. It just stopped showing up. [00:49:16] Speaker B: Okay, wow. [00:49:20] Speaker A: Spy fact versus Spy fiction. All right, so now it is time for our spy fact versus fiction. [00:49:29] Speaker B: I've just got one thing. Oh, you've got something. Oh, let me go first then. So I got, you know, there was a. I think it was in the last scene where the car explodes because of gasoline. That's, you know, the common thing, you see that will a gas tank of the car explode if you fire a bullet at it? And so I went found on scienceabc.com and it's. It basically says that movies and video games are often show cars blowing up when their gas tanks are shot. However, this is not actually possible as gas tanks are very well protected from fire and explosions. In order for a fire to start in a gas tank, there would need to be a lot of oxygen present, which is not usually the case. Additionally, the bullets used in regular guns are not powerful enough to ignite a fire in a gas tank. However, if incendiary bullets are used, it is more likely for a fire to start. And I remember that one of the episodes of Mythbusters I think they were testing out like James Bond myths about like, if you, you know, fire at a gas tank. Not, not, not especially in a car, but just a. As a tank. And like, they tried. It didn't work. And it wasn't until they like fired a minigun with tracer rounds that it actually exploded. [00:50:34] Speaker A: Very nice. Well, that also reminds me of it's kind of hard to light a gas station on fire as well. It's almost like there's a reason why we use gasoline and they don't explode all the time like they do in the movies. [00:50:47] Speaker B: All right, what do you got? [00:50:49] Speaker A: So this story reminded me of a article and I Went. I found the article. And here it is. September 27, 2013. A year after the movie was made. Yeah. Washington, Reuters. At least a dozen U.S. national Security Agency employees have been caught using secret government surveillance tools to spy on the emails or phone calls of their current or former spouses and lovers in the last decade. According to the internal watchdog, the practice is known shorthand as love it and was disclosed by the Office of the Inspector General. [00:51:27] Speaker B: Huh. I don't remember this. [00:51:28] Speaker A: I'll go on. Yeah. In one instance in 2005, a military member of the NSA queries six email addresses of a former American girlfriend. The first day he obtained access to the data collection system. He testified that he wanted to practice on the system and gained no information. In another instance, a foreign woman who was employed by the US Government suspected that her lover, an NSA civilian employee, was listening to her phone calls. She shared her suspicion with another government employee who reported it. A couple more. Another civilian employee caught abusing the system by looking at the phone numbers of various foreigners she met socially. Said she wanted to ensure she was not talking to shady characters. [00:52:06] Speaker B: So. [00:52:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:07] Speaker B: Wow. [00:52:09] Speaker A: Okay. A couple other things. There's a part where someone goes to an alpaca farm. They mentioned that. Kelly and Steve. I've been to an alpaca farm with my wife there for her birthday. It's great. It's good for kids. They want to give it a try. [00:52:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:52:24] Speaker A: The whole movie. They're working at a CIA field office in Los Angeles. This is common knowledge. I don't have something for it. [00:52:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:32] Speaker A: The CIA is not permitted to work on American soil. [00:52:35] Speaker B: Right. [00:52:37] Speaker A: So they have no field offices. But according to legalclarity.org they do maintain a limited domestic presence to support its foreign intelligence mission, but it doesn't say where. And finally, I know I have a lot. Tom Hardy's spouse would know that he's an officer. [00:52:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:55] Speaker A: Usually spouses are the only people who know, not even parents, but. But spouses know. [00:53:01] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:53:04] Speaker A: Favorite quotes. All right, so now it is time for our favorite quotes. The movie quite had a lot of good dialogue. [00:53:15] Speaker B: So you want to go first? [00:53:17] Speaker A: Sure. So I'll go in reverse order. I think that's the new British invasion right there. Yeah. About him being British. There's a part where Chelsea Handler says, do you think Gloria Steiner got arrested and went to prison so you can act. [00:53:31] Speaker B: That's right. Gosh. [00:53:35] Speaker A: Yeah. A couple other things. After the big fight in the beginning, somebody says, hey, do you think those girls are still here? [00:53:42] Speaker B: Yeah. After they, like, destroyed the Place of the one. Who do you think said that? It's definitely fdr. [00:53:48] Speaker A: Yeah, it's definitely fdr. And then finally, there's a very. A drone that flies incredibly close to the Camaro on the date. And FDR says, did he just give our bird the bird? [00:53:59] Speaker B: That's pretty good. Yeah. [00:54:01] Speaker A: All right, what do you got? [00:54:03] Speaker B: So I had the British invasion one as well. I also got what do you know from the kid. What do you know about fighting? You're just a travel agent. And then, you know, Chris Pine says, in the rental store, I know movies and women. And then I got. We briefly mentioned this. You know, one of the tech teams says, we might have some constitutional issues here. And FDR says, Patriot Act. It was like, ah, yes, the gift that keeps on giving. The Patriot Act. [00:54:31] Speaker A: Yeah, A little political humor. We got. [00:54:33] Speaker B: Finally, we've got Tuck brings that lord to meet his kid. And the FDR is like, you know, let him have a kid. And the text says, maybe we could get you a kid, sir, for a day. [00:54:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I know a guy. I know a kid guy. That was pretty good ratings. Okay, so now it's time for our ratings. On a scale of 1 to 10 martinis, 1 being Avengers 1998 level bad, and 10 being even better than Mission Impossible, Ghost Protocol, how would we rate this means war? Which I realized they never say this means war in the whole movie. Weird. [00:55:14] Speaker B: You realize, of course, this means war. [00:55:21] Speaker A: Again, I assume everything that doesn't make sense, they left on the cutting room floor. Yeah, we're speaking of animals. They never bring the dog back. There's a part where FDR says, get out of here. Get off the couch, and then we never see him again. Oh, the dog he adopted. [00:55:35] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I'm saying. I'm saying hopefully the dog. I'm hoping the dogs there somewhere. Maybe Lord's taking care of the dog. [00:55:41] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe you can't see him. [00:55:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:44] Speaker B: All right, so how do. What do you think? [00:55:47] Speaker A: Am I going first? [00:55:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I want to hear this. [00:55:50] Speaker A: Well, we'll do pros and cons. So the pros are the action is good, but very brief. And some of the dialogue is funny. And the. The cons are the whole premise of the movie is ridiculous. The characters are very unlikable. The gender stuff is very dated, by the way. Oh, I forgot to mention this. Why did they just make them FBI agents? The exact movie would have worked just as well, and it would have made a lot more sense, at least because of the whole CIA not operating in us. [00:56:23] Speaker B: I feel like FBI agents are more allowed to say that they're FBI agents. So it's not as big of a thing unless they're working undercover. Yeah, yeah. [00:56:33] Speaker A: FBI agents. Yeah. They're not covert. [00:56:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:36] Speaker A: Okay. [00:56:36] Speaker B: So, yeah, that's the only reason I can pick up. [00:56:39] Speaker A: Do I like it as much as Bravo 2 0? I actually like it less than Bravo 2 0. I'm gonna give it a 3 out of 10. I don't think it's worth your time unless you, like, love the actors in it. [00:56:49] Speaker B: I mean, I do enjoy Chris Pryor. [00:56:51] Speaker A: But it's not horror. Yeah. It's not like, bad enough that I would, like, turn it off halfway through or whatever. So that's where I would put it. [00:56:59] Speaker B: So I had a better opinion of it. I like, looked up on my letterbox what I rated this because I think I did rate it initially and I had it as like 3 out of 5 stars for Letterbox. I'd go a little lower than that. I'm gonna give this a 5 out of 10 martinis. I had fun with it. It's an average movie. It is not the worst spy movie I've ever seen. It's not definitely not the best. But it's, you know, if. If you just want something fun that you can sort of turn. Turn your brain off of, it's. It's fine. The action is good. I feel like I enjoyed the interplay between the two guys more than I did whenever they were interacting with Reese Witherspoon. So anytime that the both of them are together, I think that is where the movie is the best, as opposed to when they're doing. Trying to do the love, like, you know, one on one stuff with Reese Witherspoon. [00:57:53] Speaker A: Yeah, but that doesn't happen very often. [00:57:56] Speaker B: I mean, it happens. It happens in the beginning, it happens in the end, and it happens when they're, like, going after each other and, like, trying to sabotage each other. But yeah, so It's. It's a 5 out of 10 martinis. It's. It's fine. It's. You know, it was in that period of where I think there was a. Like, during that period of time. Yeah, like I said, there was a lot of similar moves. It was this Night and day and Killers, which we. I will. I want to get your take on that one someday in the future that's got what's her name from Grey's Anatomy and Ashton Kutcher. [00:58:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:58:27] Speaker B: Yeah. But, yeah, anyway, so, yeah, five out of ten martinis. [00:58:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's probably fair. But I was going to be a little bit harsher because the data gender stuff, I didn't like that. Fair enough. That brought me the wrong way. Okay, well, happy Valentine's Day to everyone. [00:58:46] Speaker B: Yeah, happy early Valentine's Day. [00:58:49] Speaker A: Yeah, just a little bit. [00:58:51] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:58:52] Speaker A: All right, well, thank you all for joining us here on the Spy Fi Guys. You can find us at social media at the Spy Fi Guys on Facebook, Bluesky, YouTube and Instagram, as well as our merch [email protected] until next time. I'm Zach. [00:59:04] Speaker B: And I'm Christian. [00:59:07] Speaker A: And we are the Spy Fi Guys signing off. [00:59:14] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to the Spy Fi Guys. If you enjoyed our podcast, please be sure to give us a five star rating on itunes. The theme song from this podcast is Mistake the getaway by Kevin McLeod from Incompetech.com licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 3.0. Films, books and television shows reviewed by our podcast are the intellectual property of their respective copyright holders and no infringement is intended. [00:59:41] Speaker A: This is a personal podcast. Any views, statements or opinions expressed in this podcast are personal and belong solely to the participants. They do not represent those of people, institutions, or organizations that the participants may or may not be associated with in a professional or personal capacity. Unless explicitly stated, any views or opinions are not entirely intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual. [01:00:06] Speaker B: You can find our podcast on social media at the Spy Fi Guys on Facebook, Blue Sky, YouTube, and Instagram.